i am with myself and not with thee

Sometimes I wake, and, lo! I have forgot,
And drifted out upon an ebbing sea!
My soul that was at rest now resteth not,
For I am with myself and not with thee;
Truth seems a blind moon in a glaring morn,
Where nothing is but sick-heart vanity;
Oh, thou who knowest! save thy child forlorn.

 

George MacDonald, A Book of Strife in the Form of The Diary of An Old Soul, p. 6

Published in 1880.


the stupid normal

You’re not going to find in these pages a message that runs with the whole “find your inner champion” glibness. You don’t have an inner champion. You have an inner brokenness that desperately needs to be healed by Jesus. All of us, including me, are sinners who have bought into the lies around us, at least at some level. And if we’re really honest, we’ve likely fallen for them hook, line, and sinker. That’s because the lies are so many and so common that we don’t recognize them as lies. They’ve become too normal. It’s what I like to call “the stupid normal.”

Jonathan Parnell, Never Settle For Normal, p. 2


the gift of rights

One of the grandest things in having rights is, that though they are your rights, you may give them up.

George McDonald

from A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors, Both Ancient and Modern by Tryon Edwards, D.D.

Thanks to Tom Pedersen for bringing this quote to my attention.


its bigger on the inside

“It seems, then,” said Tirian, smiling himself, “that the Stable seen from within and the Stable seen from without are two different places.”

“Yes,” said the Lord Dirogy. “Its inside is bigger than its outside.”

“Yes,” said Queen Lucy, “In our word too, a Stable once held something inside it that was bigger than our whole world.”

C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle, p. 140

For anyone familiar with the BBC series, Dr. Who, their time/space travel takes place in the Tardis, which is often referred to as being bigger on the inside than on the outside. The Last Battle was published in 1956. The first Dr. Who premiered in England on November 23, 1963, the day after C. S. Lewis died.


the machine is wearing out

Lewis compared having a body to having an old automobile – “When all sorts of apparently different things keep going wrong, but what they add up to is the plain fact that the machine is wearing out! Well, it was not meant to last forever. Still, I have a kindly feeling for the old raddle trap.

As Lewis grew older, he joked about his health and his imminent reception in heaven. “What on earth is the trouble about there being a rumor of my death? There’s nothing discreditable in dying: I’ve know the most respectable people to do it.”

Terry Lindvall, Surprised by Laughter
C.S. Lewis, Letters to an American Lady


when i am at my worst

When I am at my worst, God is at his best. When I am stubborn, rebellious and selfish, God still works and His Glory shines through. How do I know this? Because I have been stubborn, rebellious and selfish. I have been out of touch with God. And then He chose to use me to further His Kingdom. In those situations, I can take no glory for what He has done. I cannot claim it is my great spirituality that caused His Kingdom to built up. I can only shamefacedly look at God and tell Him how awesome He is that He chooses to use stupid, sinful me to build His Kingdom. “for whenever I am weak, then I am strong” 2 Corinthians 12:10.

Paul Hypki


when i was jesus

The flash of Judas’ eyes. People being healed. John, my beloved disciple, standing next to my mother, Mary. The calming of the storm. The confused look on Mary’s face in the garden. The realization of the truth overwhelming Thomas’s doubt. I saw it all – with my own eyes. You see, I used to be Jesus.

Now before you ring the psychiatric department, let me explain. I was active in a very large church with a vision to present the gospel to our community during the Easter season, so we regularly produced rather elaborate Easter productions. Since I was tall, dark and bearded, with some acting experience, I was chosen to play Jesus.

I realized that this was a great privilege, and threw myself into studying the Gospels and other literature to properly portray Jesus. As an actor, along with just learning lines and blocking, I tried as best I could to “become” Jesus to properly portray him to the audience. Little did I realize then what a lasting influence being Jesus would have on my life.

Of course, there are the many fond memories, since working on a major production brings people very close together. Imagine a room full of fifty adult men all trying to put on Queen-sized, control-top pantyhose for the first-time (my wife’s idea – it was much less messy than leg make-up.) Or the rehearsal where I, as Jesus, was a few seconds late for my resurrection appearance. Our pastor, the narrator, ad-libbed “and as they were gathered together Jesus came and appeared among them saying . . . ‘Sorry I’m late, boys!’” Then there was the rehearsal of the calming of the storm scene when Peter fell out of the boat. And who would have guessed that an off-stage romance would lead to Mary Magdalene marrying Judas!

But this past Good Friday, as a small group of believers gathered to remember our Lord’s passion, a flood of strong, significant memories nearly overwhelmed me. And I realized that I had a unique perspective of the Lord’s Passion Week. These are some of the things I remember from when I was Jesus.

As I broke the bread and passed the cup, I realized that I would never again see these twelve men before I died. They were talking among themselves, some laughing, some quiet, but, oh, how I longed to make eye contact with each one of them as they took the bread and wine. Some did, but others were too busy to notice me. Oh, how that burned in my soul! And those with whom I did make eye contact . . . didn’t seem to understand.
Judas was sitting just to my left. He was talking and enjoying the food like all the others. Until I handed him the bread. He was smiling as I handed it to him, but his smile faded, and as he rose his eyes flashed and his smile had turned to a sneer. The utter contempt that he felt for me at that moment was written clearly on his face. As he ran from the room, I wondered if there was anything else that I could have done for Judas. But it was too late now, there was no turning back. The grand scheme had been set in motion.

During Christ’s crucifixion, the nails were driven not through the palms of His hands, as Hand Ligamentsis typically depicted. Bearing the full weight of His body, the nail would have ripped through the flesh and of his hand and He would have fallen from the cross. Rather, the nails were driven through what we now call the wrist. You can feel the depression in the front and back, just below the heel of your hand. By driving the nails here, the bone and ligaments would be strong enough to hold the weight of the human body indefinitely. This small depression also happens to be where the ulnar nerve leads to the hand. As the nail drove through and destroyed the nerve, the white-hot pain would shoot at least to the elbow, perhaps as far as the shoulder.

As I hung on the cross, even through the pain I saw those who had gathered. So many were jeering and taunting. But I sought out and locked onto the familiar faces, two weeping women to my left. Further back, I spotted John – he was here with me! And he had his arm around my mother, Mary. I could hardly look at her, the horror and agony on her face – I felt such shame. I was bloodied, undressed, helpless. Why did she have to see me like this?

My breathing became more labored as I tired. Each breath I had to push up with my legs to pull the air into my lungs. The mind becomes very active, many thoughts flash by as death approaches. And there was the realization that I was alone, so alone. My Father had abandoned me! The weight, the pain, the shame were mine alone. And my Father had left. Eloi! Eloi! Lama sabacthani! Why? Why have you forsaken me? I need you more than ever now!

Father, look at them – they have no idea what they are doing. Forgive them.

Into Your hands I commit my spirit! The victory is won! And I hung my head in death. The silence pressed upon me. It was as if no one were breathing in this whole great room. I could hear the weeping, the wailing of the women as they took my body down from the cross and carried me to my grave.
Paragraph separatorLater, I saw Mary walk slowly, hesitantly toward the tomb where they had laid her Lord. She had been crying. I stepped out where she could see me, but she didn’t recognize me. She fell at my feet confused, despondent. She looked at me with tear-filled eyes and asked if I knew where they had taken His body. I just smiled. And I felt that wonderful expectancy when a loved one is about to open a special gift that you know they are going to love. That moment of tension, wanting to prolong it just a bit longer in anticipation of knowing the joy that was about to come. I simply said her name, “Mary!” The shock, the surprise as she looked at me again, but this time she saw! She knew me!
Paragraph separatorThomas swore he would not believe I was alive again unless he saw me with his own eyes and was able to touch my wounds. So, I came and stood before him and gently held out my hands to him. In an instant, I watched as he recognized me. I saw the confusion followed by the fear. Then he fell on his face before me. I was filled with joy because this was right – this was exactly what Thomas needed.

In the same way, Jesus is watching you. He is studying you, hoping you will notice Him. He wants you to see Him, to respond to Him, to see you understand who He is and adore Him. May you see Jesus today. May your eyes be opened to Him more and more each day and may you bring Him great joy!


don’t skip steps

To further illustrate faith-sized requests, I’d like to give you the experience of a married couple who moved into a new neighborhood. One of the first requests Mary and Jack made was, “Lord, we’d like to get acquainted with our neighbors, and if they don’t know You personally as their Saviour, we’d like to introduce them to You.”

That was a fine request and right in line with what Cod wanted to do. But it was the description of a goal to be reached, not a step to take. They got down to business then, and took the first step.

“Lord,” prayed Jack, “I’d like to meet the fellow living next door in some casual way and begin to get acquainted with him. I’d like to begin today, and I believe You can arrange it for me. Thank you, Lord.” Mary agreed with Jack in her prayer, and gave thanks with Him.

The morning had scarcely turned to afternoon when the answer came. Their children got into a quarrel over a tricycle with the neighbor’s children. Both fathers rushed to the scene. Jack took all the blame for his children, and put out his hand, “I’m Jack M., just moved in, glad to meet you.” The first request had been answered. The first step had been taken.

The second step: “Lord, I’d like to know what that man is interested in, so we could become friends.” The answer came within two days. He was interested in football.

The third step: “Lord, I need two complimentary football tickets, and could I have them by this weekend, please.” The tickets came. The friendship grew.

The fourth step: “Lord, I’d like to invite this new friend to the Bible class I teach a few miles from here. Would You put it in his heart to accept when I ask him to go with me tonight?” He accepted. All the way over as they drove, they talked about football. All the way home they talked about Jesus Christ, and what it meant for Him to become one of us . . . God became a Man.

The fifth step: “Lord, Mary and I would like to invite my friend and his wife to our home some evening this week and have a little talk and Bible reading together.” The friends came, and they read and talked quietly together.

The sixth step, “Lord, next week when I ask them over again, will You prepare their hearts, so that they will be ready to accept You as their Saviour? I believe this is the time to ask for this, and I thank you for all You’ll be doing in the meantime to draw them to Yourself.” When the next week came, the neighbors willingly and gladly accepted Jesus Christ.

This method also works in matters of guidance about getting a job, taking a trip, buying or selling a house, getting married, writing a book, or anything you may think of yourself, large or small.

Rosalind Rinker, Prayer – Conversing with God, page 71-72.


what are you praying for?

About the time I began to be aware of honesty and simplicity and brevity in audible prayer, I listened carefully when others prayed, and also checked myself after I had prayed. I asked myself these questions:

For what definite thing had I prayed?

Did I believe that I would get it?

Could I picture myself receiving it?

The tragic answer was, that I wasn’t asking anything definite, and I wasn’t receiving anything definite. I was merely praying platitudes, “Lord, bless my family in America, and bless the Chinese pastors working in Shanghai, and bless . . . and bless . . . and bless . . . .” The words bless and blessing do get a workout when people pray! But what exactly are we asking for? Are we asking for anything? Are we talking to anyone? Are we expecting an answer from Him?

Rosalind Rinker, Prayer – Conversing with God, page 69.


we don’t learn to pray in six easy lessons

I was more convinced than ever that people do want to pray, and all that is needed is simple instruction at the personal level, and an opportunity to pray. We don’t learn how to pray in six easy lessons, we learn to pray by praying.

Rosalind Rinker, Prayer – Conversing with God, page 44.